Win 98 Mississippi Edition

Dear Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS

98 MISSISSIPPI EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside

of Mississippi. If you have one of these, you may need some

help understanding the commands. The Mississippi edition may be recognized

by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 98,

with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed

on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard

screen saver.

Please also note:

The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"

My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"

Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"

Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"

Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive"

Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"

Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and roll of

duct tape" pops up

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN MISSISSIPPI EDITION:

OK . . . . . . . . . ats aw-right

Cancel . . . . . . . stopdat

Reset . . . . . . . .try er agin

Yes . . . . . . . . .yep

No . . . . . . . . . noop

Find . . . . . . . . hunt fer it

Go to. . . . . . . . over yonder

Back . . . . . . . . back yonder

Help . . . . . . . hep me out here

Stop . . . . . . . . kwitit

Start . . . . . . . .crank er up

Settings . . . . . . settins

Programs . . . . . . stuff at duz stuff

Documents . . . . . stuff ah done did

Also note that MISSISSIPPI EDITION does not recognize

capital letters or punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98:

Tiperiter . . . . . . A word processing program

colerin book . . . . . a graphics program

cyferin mersheen . . . calculator

outhouse paper . . . . notepad

iner-net . . . . . . . Microsoft Explorer4.0

pichers . . . . . . . A graphics viewer

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received

a copy of the MISSISSIPPI EDITION. You may return it to

Microsoft for a replacement version

I hope this helps all y'all!

Billy Bob Gates